Not as bad as I thought

I turned 40 last Wednesday and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I remember asking my grandma what it felt like to be 75. She said you wake up in the morning and you feel just like you always have your entire life. Then you happen to walk by a mirror and "WHOA! Who is that person?" You feel the same, just look different. I am one of the special people that not only feel the same, but look the same too. At least with my glasses off, lights down and if I squint real hard.
But seriously, it started off kind of bad, I was really down. Went to work and was crabby, came home and was crabby. There was no BIG party, all my friends were busy, it really seemed to suck. Then, while sitting in my backyard, with the sun toasting all of us at just the right temperature, I realized that I was happy. I hadn't spent an evening with my family, mom, brother, papa, a ton of kids, where I was enjoying myself-no one was fighting, I was waiting for a fight or argument-it was really nice. There is entirely too much pressure on this whole "turning 40" thing. I think I was bummed because I thought I was supposed to be. Turns out I had a great time! My mom made the most awesome cake for me, my brother brought dinner,the kids were good. What more could you ask for?


Oh yeah, presents! Zach gave me a gift card to Home Depot to buy some plants. I got a palm tree and two other tropical, I hope I don't kill them, flowers. My mom gave me this gorgeous candle holder I've been eyeing at her work every time I go in. The little girls gave me some sparkly jewelry. And my fabulous husband bought me my new ride. Check it out!

Here's my whole family, even the dog! We were really enjoying ourselves. So as Ron Wild said ~
Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child.

Summer has arrived!

The official start of summer at our house is not marked on the calendar by a date or determined by the weather, it officially starts when we put up the pool.

This year it was a bit chilly outside when we started, and the next day when it was finally full. So to keep the kids from bugging me about swimming we had a chat about hypothermia. It went like this:
Kids: Can we go swimming?
Mom: Kind of cold outside, don't ya' think?
Kids: No, can we go swimming?
Mom: Ask you dad
Kids: He said ask mom
Mom: Do you want to get sick?
Kids: We don't care
Mom: Have you heard of hypothermia?
**kids having discussion between themselves**
Kids: Yes, can you die from it?
Mom: Sometimes
Kids: Can we go swimming?
Mom: You might get hypothermia
Kids: Will we die?
(I know this next part is wrong, but hey it worked)
Mom: You might, you'll just have to try it out to see
Kids: We're gonna go play with our DS
Mom: silent and smirking but no longer being bugged by small children to swim in the freezing cold water
~~~~Cut to June 27, 85 degrees outside~~~~

I thought this was hilarious! But I loved Beavis and Butthead and this is kind of insulting to them. (Beavis that is!)

After seeing this photo I jumped on my soap box, did some searching and found some interesting stats. I am completely and totally 100% anti-war. This is what it is costing us, specifically right here in Pierce County, Washington. (about 40 miles south of Seattle) To find out how much it's costing you check out www.nationalpriorities.com
Here's what it's costing me:

Taxpayers in Pierce County, Washington will pay $1.4 billion for total Iraq war spending approved to date. For the same amount of money, the following could have been provided:

565,534 Children with Health Care for One Year
234,285 Scholarships for University Students for One Year
7,747 Affordable Housing Units

The best present ever!

As the parent of an almost teen this last Christmas I was stuck as to what to buy my daughter. Surely she would hate just about anything she received from me. So I thought long and hard and decided to get her a cell phone. We added her to our plan and gave her unlimited text messages. She is like most other kids that age, and some grown-ups, and constantly is texting. You know the look, head down, thumbs moving a mile a minute and short grunts for response to any conversation you might be trying to have with them. She LOVES her phone, she has not once gone over her minutes-but that's because I don't think she has ever once called anyone but me-it's only used for texting. Somehow, even though it has to be turned off at night and she didn't use it at school, she managed to send/receive on average 12,000 (yes that is 12K!) a month. Does she text each letter individually? What's going on? With school being out for summer I am a little more relaxed about the putting the phone away at night thing. This is what I found a few days ago when I went in her room to say goodnight.


I think I finally got one right! She seems to be a bit attached to this gift. Maybe we should have gotten her a hamster?
By the way, she is going to KILL ME when she sees this post. I love being a mom. ;)

Happy thoughts

Some random happy photos from our house!

Attention all coffee drinkers!

Most of us have been to Starbuck's and complained about the prices. If you haven't been then I'm sure you've heard someone complain. I am one of the complainers, even though I keep going back. Today I stopped in for my usual, double tall, vanilla breve, not too hot, no straws, shot of caffeine and was prepared to pay an arm and a leg. (Chevron and Starbuck's must be in together!) Low and behold they have finally come up with a loyalty program.
If you buy a gift card, which you can use for yourself-no need to give it away, and register it online they will mail you a coupon for a free drink. In my case that's $4.76 in FREE money. Then if you use your gift card to purchase your drug of choice from them they will give you more free stuff.
My drink today was $2.77! All I had to pay for was a 1 shot latte. Cool beans, huh? You really should check it out www.Starbucks.com click the gift card tab.

Irony

I am having a birthday next week, a milestone birthday that I guess technically is a sign of middle age. But I'm refusing it, don't want it, I'm going to start having anniversaries instead. So it will be the 19th anniversary of my 21st birthday.
And because I am the youngster at our house, as far as grown ups go, I am the primary insured for our health care. We are one of the lucky ones that get to buy it ourselves. YEAH US! Since I am having a bracket changing, you know the brackets 18-25, 26-34, etc..., birthday our rates are going up. Again YEAH US! Our insurance is more expensive because we both smoke. I know, I know we need to quit, it's going to kill us. In the same wad of mail with the rate hike from Regence I got a $3 off "Happy Birthday" coupon from Newport cigarettes. Is that irony or an oxymoron? Hmmm. Guess I'll go buy some smokes so I won't stress so much about the rate increase.

Fun stuff in the summer (if it ever gets here)

So I've all ready sniveled about our horrible weather here in Washington. We are now calling this Junuary instead of June. The high today was 55 and we had snow in the mountains. In some places the ski areas are still open. But all of this has given me some time to find stuff to do if and when it ever gets nice outside. I've compiles a list, short but sweet. Here ya' go:

Go see a FREE movie at a Regal movie theater with the kiddos. Most of the other Regal theaters in other states are doing it too - not just Washington.

AMC theaters are having $1 movies on Wednesday in most places.

If you live in Washington here are some more ideas:

Check out the Childrens Museum of Tacoma for free the 1st Friday of every month and on Thursdays in the summer.

The community center in Federal Way has a huge pool with water slides and a lazy river. And it's only $7 to get in! (bite me Wild Waves!)

There is the Henry Moses swimming pool, with water slides, in Renton. It's the one right off of I-405. Beware, the lines are long and on hot days it fills up quickly. Send a grown up to stand in line and have someone come with all the kiddos right as they open. $4-$14

Summer Lunch Programs, in case you need it:
Kids, ages 18 and younger, can have a free meal while school is out with the Sumner Summer Lunch program, this year at two locations. No applications required. June 25 - August 22 (closed Friday, July 4) 11:15 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday - Friday

• Daffodil Valley Elementary Cafeteria
• 1509 Valley Ave. in Sumner
• Liberty Ridge Elementary Cafeteria
  12202 209th Ave. Ct. E. in Bonney Lake

The Seattle School district has a similar program available at many schools, click the link to check it out.

The Tacoma Tribune put out a list of 75 Adventures to try, some of them sound kind of fun. Not all free but fun!

Free concerts on Lake Tapps, local bands, Saturdays July - August

Insomnia?

I am a victim of occasional insomnia, not sure why (ok it may be the coffee) but it is annoying. Lately I have also fallen prey to the random nightmare. On Friday it was a nightmare that I was on a city bus and Howard Stern was sitting behind me telling me spooky stories. It seemed real and the stories were scary. Not sure what was scarier though, the stories or being on a bus with Howard. I woke up with the worst headache that lasted all day. Thanks a lot Howard!


I also ran across this hilarious top 100 list of reasons you are up all night, I know it's long but it is funny! It was in Radar magazine, which I got free using my frequent (hahaha not so frequent) flyer miles from Northwest Airlines. Here's the list:

1. Can't stop worrying about Britney

2. Hide-a-Bed too well hidden

3. Keep hitting speed bumps

4. Larry King won't stop snoring

5. Can't get those Nazi war crimes out of your head

6. That guard keeps shining his goddamn flashlight in your eyes

7. Person in next hostel bunk won't stop crying out in Afrikaans

8. Severed horse head is hogging the covers

9. Couldn't turn down that third helping of cocaine

10. Some woman keeps having sex with you

11. Mistakenly set white noise machine to "Panicked Cattle at Slaughterhouse"

12. Overcome by polar bear guilt

13. You'll sleep when you're dead, or in 20 minutes—whichever comes first

14. Breast and ass implants make it difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position

15. Determined to watch every last bit of cheetah-attack footage on YouTube

16. Still angry over the Sopranos finale

17. You smoke in bed—specifically, hickory bacon

18. People keep barging into your ATM vestibule

19. Next-door neighbor is hosting a live performance of Drumline

20. Discovered the Magic Fingers bed you've been enjoying has never actually been plugged in

21. Pajama ass-flap keeps flopping open adorably

22. You're the world's biggest fan of whatever piece of shit is on TV at 3 a.m.

23. Kitschy Virgin Mary night-light from Urban Outfitters suddenly seems in poor taste

24. Shouldn't have caught the Faces of Death marathon on cable

25. Tomorrow you will finally realize your dream: sex with Richard Belzer
26. Too many high school grudges to settle

27. Filled humidifier with Red Bull

28. Keep rolling off roof

29. Staying up one more hour to see how Ron Popeil will blow your mind this time

30. Constantly interrupted by Christmas ghosts

31. Pillow is stuffed with bad checks written to the mob

32. Still pumped from John Stossel's latest "Give Me a Break" segment

33. Recurring nightmares about Sting and his lute

34. Cage is too small

35. Neighbor has his car alarm sensitivity set at "Gentle Breeze"

36. Aliens never seem to run out of things to learn from your rectum

37. Don't want to lose place in line for Hannah Montana tickets

38. Free futon you found behind Applebee's not the boon you imagined

39. New perm is too tight

40. The dream catcher above your bed is on the fritz

41. Homemade meth is a titch too strong

42. Trying to catch 24-hour Laundromat in a lie

43. Can't remember where you put that baby

44. Sweating out a garlic binge

45. Your floor plan: living room, LaGuardia runway, bedroom

46. Still a little nervous about the wine glass on the corner of the Tempur-Pedic

47. Because if you don't live-blog the 3:30 a.m. M.A.S.H. rerun, who the hell will?

48. The man next to you on the Greyhound just whispered in your ear: "If you're tired, you can rest your mouth on my genitals"

49. Sudoku

50. By not sleeping, have seven extra hours each day to drive through store windows
51. The walls are so thin, you can hear your neighbors arguing about whether you're mentally disabled

52. Have a feeling tonight will be the night you finally pull the trigger on that Proactiv Solution

53. Shouldn't have eaten that last bowl of deep-fried duck embryos from Chinatown

54. Magic 8-Ball keeps requesting you to "ask again later"

55. Dreamland is actually a total shithole

56. Haven't changed your Facebook status in almost three hours

57. Clinging for dear life to a piece of flotsam

58. Restless tongue syndrome

59. Big baby need new diaper and bottle to go night-night

60. Won't sleep until you finish reading the latest Borowitz Report entry, even if it takes all freakin' night

61. Turns out Adderall tastes a lot like Mike and Ikes

62. Cable guy is supposed to arrive between midnight and four

63. Saw something on Dateline about how sleeping causes kidney failure

64. Seems like a waste of a hooker, no?

65. Keeping yourself up by repeatedly saying out loud, "Mrs. Bret Michaels"

66. Crawled into tent to discover Charlie Sheen rolling on a condom

67. Tomorrow you're telling your handicapped son he's adopted and loved much less than the others

68. Because somewhere, right now, homosexuals are engaging in sodomy

69. You just had to take that voodoo priest's parking spot, didn't you?

70. Pancake griddle no substitute for heating pad

71. Roommate practicing his Tuvan throat singing

72. Biohazard suit a tad too warm

73. Your hammock is suspended over the mouth of a volcano

74. Still trying to figure out what you're supposed to think of Diablo Cody

75. Your brain wants to sleep but your body wants to get rid of all that corn liquor
76. Keep forgetting the chorus to "Safety Dance"

77. Your man didn't love you right

78. Waiting for Yes keyboard solo to end

79. Had eyelids removed to appear more youthful and alert

80. Thinking about how sweet life's going to be once you're a Suicide Girl

81. Perfecting the line "Give me the meat hammer" for tomorrow's porn shoot

82. Should never have ordered Ambien from Craigslist

83. Keep hearing the heartbeat of a guy buried alive in the wall

84. Still feel you have to sit in front of Best Buy all night to get a PlayStation 3

85. Plotting next moves in your 14 simultaneous games of Scrabulous

86. The manufacturers of Sleepytime Tea are a bunch of dirty fucking liars

87. Dad claimed there are no monsters under the bed "because the real monsters lurk inside our hearts"

88. New cellmate is kind of handsy

89. Impatiently awaiting news of Ace of Base reunion

90. In hindsight, shouldn't have filled the water bed with moray eels

91. The telethon's not going to watch itself

92. Still trying to think of a better comeback than, "Yeah, well, that's merely your opinion, Simon Cowell!"

93. You wet your sleeping bag

94. Suddenly realized you chose the path most traveled

95. Stupid baby in your stomach keeps trying to get born

96. Having second thoughts about green-lighting "Untitled Tom Sizemore Project"

97. That roast beef sub you found in the bus station bathroom just ain't sitting right

98. Contract with the devil expired 45 minutes ago

99. Still haunted by The Prince of Tides

100. Really half-assed that customer-service comment card at Taco Bell

Rain, rain go away!

This is the view from my window right now. Need I say more?
You don't even need to come back another day. Grrrr! Or should I say brrrrr, this weather is horrible! The 6th of June and it's cold, rainy and windy. 46 degrees outside and not an end in sight to this ick. School will be out in two weeks and the kids can't swim or ride bikes or anything.
Old Farmers Almanac isn't predicting any better, and I think they've got it wrong. Here is what they say:Winter will be one to two degrees above normal, on average, led by an especially mild February. The coldest periods will be in mid-December and early and mid-January. Rainfall will be below normal in Washington and above normal in Oregon and California. Snowfall will be below normal, with most of it occurring in January.
April and May rainfall will be above normal, especially in the south. Temperatures will be near or slightly above normal, on average.
Summer will be one to two degrees above normal, on average, with below-normal rainfall. The hottest temperatures will occur in early June, late July, and mid- to late August.
September and October will bring above-normal temperatures and above-normal rainfall, especially in the south.

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